We advocate the use of a family systems approach to premarital pastoral work, involving exploration of the families of origin of the intended spouses. Family systems theory argues that a marriage is like a merger of two corporations, each having its own stockholders; thus, adequate preparation for marriage involves coming to terms with the realities of one’s family of origin and that of one’s intended spouse. Exploratory techniques include genograms, house tours, family photo albums, and discussions of the rules and rituals in the respective families. Leaving father and mother is the central prerequisite to marriage.
via You Must Leave Before You Can Cleave: A Family Systems Approach to Premarital Pastoral Work.
This article does not fit well into the marriage culture in Iceland. Having said that, its focus on family of origin work, differentiation, and different views on relationships is valuable.